a new day

it's hard.

but i'm trying

i am, i promise

i am really really trying

i think i can fix it

i believe it

so i guess that means i know it

thinking and knowing are two different things

knowing is belief

right?

or is belief just blind faith?

whatever it is, i have it.

it's a pretty day outside

maybe i will take my daughter out to play

she likes the grass and her shadow on the ground

or maybe i will read her every book she owns

she loves books.

i will hold my son when he cries

and make him giggle his baby dinosaur laugh

and i will take a nap with both of them

in my room full of light and soft pillows

this day can be heaven

i think

i believe

i know

faith for me

sweet baby boy

i love you
i'm sorry
i love you
i'm sorry
i love you
i'm sorry
i love you

for the rest of my life i'll carry this night in my heart
so dark

you don't need a clock to tell the time

Every day I watch you grow, and my heart swells with so much pride it bursts. I am constantly aware of how, with each day that passes, it is one less day that I will have with you.

We will never get this day back. Today will become yesterday, as sure as tomorrow will become today, and so on.

No, we will never see today again. But I have the rest of my life to give you so many magical tomorrows.

early morning dream sequence

Today I rose before the sun.
I looked out my window and saw it
Wrapped in a blanket of fog.
She sleeps
He works
I think.
I am...
I am a castle of sand
An island of feathers
A pillar of salt
Water will wash me away

one

one more minute of sleep
just one more sip of water
one more bite of cakeo
ne more second in the bath
one more chapter of this book
it all adds up
but takes time away from her
she's one more to most
but to me she's the only one

padlock

and suddenly, everyone is a writer
everywhere you look someone is writing something you should have written first
and you think...damn
remember that skinny kid that wanted to be sent to her room
just so she could read and dream and write?
you had a diary by the time you were seven
when you still thought all boys were like your younger brother
and nobody was cooler than your mother.
whatever happened to that little pink book
with pink pages
and a gold padlock?
you can't even remember what it used to say
no that's a lie.
and here you are today
what do you have to show for it?
still a wannabe
clacking away on a computer
posting pieces of your mind that very few people read
putting yourself out there
but not enough to get noticed
not enough to get criticized.
that's always been your way.

november sunrise

We rise early and walk hand in hand to the seashore. There is a chill in the air but we have a blanket and each other's arms. We sit down and wait for the light to peek over the horizon, laughing and joking.
We have had so few of these moments lately. I want more of them. What most couples take ten years to experience we have spanned in ten months. It seems as though fifty years has gone by since we met and yet it still seems like only yesterday.
Here we are, it's beautiful here, with the sand, the sea, the sleepy sun yawning into the brightening sky. It's as though we've only just fallen in love, nothing to worry about, no billsbabydoctorsjobsfightsfamilygameschoreserrandsillnessaccidentschurchobligationssurprisesemptywalletsboringnightsgossipLIFE to get in the way.
It's just so...easy here. I relax into your chest and your chin rests on my hair. And I remember the first day I saw you.
It was like seeing the sun rise on a cold day.